Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Long, long ago, computers were actually people.  If you wanted something computed, you had to hire a computer.  This worked, but it was pretty inconvenient.  Computers had to be paid pretty well.  And they took breaks, ate lunch and got bugs - actual bugs.

Eventually, computing machines were invented.  And this seemed like a pretty good idea, at first.  But the way it worked out, maybe you didn't have to hire a computer anymore, but you did have to hire chimps to program the new, so-called, automated computers.  Not only that, but businesses also had to hire big chimps to supervise the smaller chimps.  Whole chimp hierarchies  sprang up!  Companies had to create entire divisions made up entirely of chimps!

And that's not all...  You can't just have these chimps running around amok all over the office.  Chimps need special pens, called cubicals.  And they need printers, mice..., and snacks, and sometimes, for bigger chimps, even windows and plants.

Are we better off for this?  Only history will tell.

But one thing is for sure, life's not easy for a working chimp.  Let's face it, most workplaces suck.  They're packed to the rafters with politics and they reek of failure and defeat.  And it doesn't stop, ever.  Humans are always coming up with an endless stream of "problems" for a chimp.  Hey, I thought computers were supposed to this stuff automatically?

Well, not so much...  It's on the chimps, day and night, to make the cursors turn into animals on certain links, to get the website secure, to make a Java app play Christmas music, to change the background from white to gray, and back again, to make the buttons have round corners...  It never ends.

Well chimps, Computer Programmer Shirt is here to help.  It's a big, big job.  And one little website isn't going to do it all.  But if, someday, there's one little tip here that gets one chimp home on time on a Friday afternoon, it's worth it.

Technical Topics